Group Projects

Two words that the majority of university students will roll their eyes at, or at least have an anecdote about. Either that or I’ve had some really bad experiences. Of course there are still people out there who love group tasks (Why? Just why???), but then there are the people like me who would love nothing more than to tuck and roll out of the lecture hall.

There are a few types of people in every group I’ve been in:

• The Hard Worker: These types of people get a task, get on with it and do a decent job. They just want to finish the job so they can move on to the other 20 assignments we’ve got. Of course, that makes them the prime target for the next type of person.
• The Work-Shy: These outweigh the hard workers like a herd of zombies, and move just about as quick too. They will usually turn up to group meetings, and sit there pretending to look deep in thought. In reality, they contribute very little and rely on the hard worker to do everything for them.
• The Dictator: These types love to take charge of the group, but often don’t really know what they are talking about. They tend to dismiss other people, getting snappy when people go against their idea.
• The AWOL: Seriously? If you’re this type, where do you hide? They show up at the start of the year, and then cannot be found again until the deadline. Seriously considered sending out a search party for some of the people I know who are like this.
• The Clueless: Self explanatory, but I still don’t mind this type as much as the work-shy. Usually they really make an effort to learn which I admire so good on you, Clueless.
• The Perfectionist: If that comma is in the wrong place, they will find it. I was like this in first year, but that soon stopped when I got more than one assignment. Still, this one isn’t a bad thing!

I think every group needs a good balance of these, but usually I just end up with the AWOL and the Work-Shy which seems to be the case this year. 4 group projects and I am leading them all.

So which one are you?

I Hate Driving

I really can’t think of any way to phrase it other than that. It seems like lately I can’t drive anywhere without traffic, someone driving like an idiot or poor road conditions. I was on the motorway this morning when a lorry swerved into me, and thankfully I managed to recover at the last second. Still it really put into perspective how close I really was to being in an accident this morning. That driver didn’t even take the time to notice that there was someone next to him, and it’s the first time I’ve felt panicked in my car (which is saying something when my first driving lessons consisted of me thinking I was a living hazard perception test). Mostly it gave me a bit of a reality check. Lately I haven’t been feeling in the best of moods, but that split second gave me perspective of a lot of things. Even despite every part of me that feels fed up and like there’s no point, there was a part of me today that was scared.

Besides that, thankfully I have a fairly empty week at university (= no driving, thank goodness).

Rebooting The Blog

So I’ve decided to start blogging again, mostly because third year has been one monster of a journey so far. Other than losing track of time, what with work and assignments, I’ve mostly been feeling exhausted by all of it. For the first time in a long time, the way I’ve been feeling has been creeping into my personal life. I can barely go a day without arguing with my family, and there are times when I just stare at my revision notes and they might as well be written in squiggles. So, hopefully, if a few sentences a day can clear my head then it’s got to be worth something.

Overcoming Fears

So this week I realised that I’m slowly overcoming my fear of talking to other people. It’s a requirement of our course that we attend a dispensing class, and practise counselling lecturers and pharmacists from the community as if they were patients. 

They grade us based on our communication skills and the accuracy of the information given. Well this week I got full marks on my communication skills. It was completely unexpected, and I half expected them to grade me poorly because I stumbled on my words when I first walked in. Apparently though, they said that I handled it really well and I made them feel at ease straight away. I never pictured myself doing a social course a few years ago, let alone getting good grades for the social aspects!

So Many Deadlines

So I haven’t been able to post lately, mainly because of how busy I’ve been. The amount of deadlines that we had in the past month was just ridiculous, plus a group project that stressed me out the maximum! Why do they even assign those things? 

(Top TIP: Never work with friends in a group project. You will most likely end up hating them. Unless they actually work, then it’s fine!)

My friends, however, don’t work and it’s irritating me because I feel as if I can’t shout at them when they don’t work. 
It’s mainly the group task that’s been getting me so stressed, and my mood has just been extremely low lately. It got to the point the other day where I had to go for a walk and just get a coffee on campus, because everything was just building up. I’ve become familiar with my “threshold” for emotions building up, and this week I was way beyond that. Keeping a diary on my phone really seems to be helping lately, and talking walks around campus. 

Sickness + Weekend

Having a cold and being faced with a  maths workshop on Monday morning is a terrible combination. Firstly, it annoys me enough that my friends don’t bother to turn up when they only have to walk from campus accommodation. That’s without even considering that this class requires participation (the word itself makes me shudder!) 

My weekend was fairly dull. I wrote my essay, but most of it was spent in this irritatingly low mood. Whether it’s the stress or just the fact that I’m always tired lately, I don’t know. I finally say “I’m getting better!” and then I feel like this. The events in Paris upset me too. Times like these make you appreciate family and friends, and all of my love and prayers are with the families and friends of those who died or are injured in Paris. ❤️

Used

So it didn’t take much to realise that my friends at university use me. I’m not exactly sure how it benefits me, but for some reason they insist on doing it as if I enjoy being taken for a fool. For example the other day I completed a quiz which was, to say the least, brutal. 

I get a text message shortly after from my friend saying this:

“Hey 🙂 Have you done the quiz? If so, what’s the answer to number 4?”

First, that’s cheating and why on Earth would I ever do that. Secondly, why would I help them when no one helps me? I spent a whole week revising for that quiz, they spend one hour and then attempt it. I just ignored the message, and while I feel bad for doing it they should have forward planned. I refuse to be used, especially for reasons that go against my ethics. I have to face that friend today, and hope they don’t mention it!

Stress-ays

Yes my title was extremely punny and terrible even for me, but it’s true. The amount of essays I’ve had lately is frankly ridiculous, and it’s meant that I’ve been feeling a lot more tired than usual. I’ll sit down in front of my blank page, and my mind will just go blank. It’s as if every time I convince myself that I’m going to work, I end up with about 10 words on the page and think that’s acceptable progress. 

Maybe that’s just me being a typical student, but I think most of it this year is to do with having no motivation. I recently had an essay as part of a group task, and no one else was in a rush to complete it. I ended up exerting most of my effort into it, even though other people obviously couldn’t care less. After that, I’ve just been thinking what is the point? I think (hope) once I complete this next essay, I’ll be back to my usually motivated self. 

Leadership

Up until university, I was never a leader. I would happily follow everyone else, keeping my head down so that I wasn’t noticed. It was easier that way, and required minimal effort on my part. I’ve noticed that since I’ve got to university, I’ve become really bossy. 

That’s not to say that I boss people around without doing my fair share of work. If I can see that a group isn’t working out well, I will take the lead and put them in the right direction. I’m more assertive than ever, and the feeling is strange to me. I remember back to the days where the idea of group work made me feel sick because I worried what people would think of me. It’s gotten to the stage now where I just don’t care what they think. I think it changes at university because your grade depends on whether they work or not. Either way, I know that university has changed me a lot. Sometimes I wonder if it’s for the better, because I can be a bit cold when I see someone blatantly avoiding work and deflecting it to someone else. 

Old Journals

I found out a few old journals today, which I wrote when I was at school. I couldn’t even remember a lot of the contents, so it did bring back a few bad memories for me. I had made one entry where I was at my lowest, and hearing my thought processes back then was quite upsetting. I owe my recovery from that state to many people. For a start, moving to a new school was the best thing that I could have ever done. A teacher at that school gave me so much confidence in my work and in myself. I wouldn’t have got into university if it wasn’t for him. He probably doesn’t even know that he saved my life, but he did and I’m thankful for that. Back then, I definitely didn’t picture myself as I am today. I never thought that I would have direction in my life, but somehow I do. I have my bad times, and I will most likely continue to have them. There is usually a little gap between those times where I feel “okay” though, and that’s already an improvement. Maybe one day, there will be more happy days than sad.